Marcel Larose

Whilst out walking one day I had a very deep knowing about the role of mother and child. I had been a guardian and carer of a free spirit, and I had looked after that life in the best possible way that I could, but there was no sense of possession. I never 'owned' that life but had fulfilled a function to nurture and watch over. The whole idea of a child being the parent's property seemed so alien to me. I had a great sense of achievement, seeing this free spirit grow into a person of great calibre and learning.

As a mother I have been left with a space inside that cannot be filled and I am living a totally different life now. Adjusting to this is a slow and painful process which is not easily communicated to others. You could say that I am at peace knowing he has escaped the torments of a carnal existance, but grief is very overpowering and can engulf you at the most unexpected times. Throughout his 25 years we shared an electrical and physical bond, the ties of which are not easily broken. For these bonds to be wrenched away so suddently causes a massive shock to the system and you wonder if you will ever be able to carry on but in order to survive you reach for the value and care that one life has for another. Our lives are forged from all our experiences, good and bad, and nobody said life (or death) was easy.

Marcel enriched my life beyond measure and I feel priviledged to have shared our time together.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND NEVER WILL BE

(Excerpt from my book THE BRIDGE (copyright) which I wrote shortly after Marcel's death and which helped enormously in dealing with my grief.)